Abundance vs Scarcity Mindset
The power of seeing beyond the zero sum game to find opportunity
The word “abundance” has come back strongly into the zeitgeist again, thanks to Ezra Klein and Derek Thompson’s new book, Abundance. I just finished it (well, listened to it) and it was one of those books that made me stop and reflect. It’s not just about optimism, but rather is a critique of how well-intentioned rules and systems can lead to stagnation and sclerosis. They make the case that the law of unintended consequences has created roadblocks to progress in areas like housing, healthcare, and transit. We’ve become a country that builds less and permits less even as we need more. Their prescription? Think abundantly.
Long before this book, my leadership coach, Katia, taught me all about the mindset of abundance. She shared this idea years ago in the First Round Capital newsletter, encouraging her clients to adopt a philosophy that looked beyond scarcity and into rich possibility.
Whenever I brought her a challenge, she would nudge me to consider what it might look like if I wasn’t trapped by a zero-sum view. Where I saw either-or, she saw and-also. Where I saw limitations, she saw opportunity. She encouraged me to see the world beyond the zero-sum game and instead create win-wins I never could have imagined before.
Creating Win-Wins
In 2010, we bought what we thought was our forever home. It was a quaint fixer-upper in Palo Alto, and we invested a lot of time and money to make it perfect. Two years later, it was finally finished just in time for our surprise third child, Danielle, to arrive. Around that same time, my father passed away from cancer, and my mother came to live with us so she wouldn’t be across the country alone. Our perfect home for four suddenly became a very cramped home for six.
The layout meant all three kids were sharing a bathroom with my mom. We tried to make it work, but the tension grew. So we moved again, this time to a nearby house with two master suites. My mom got her own space, and we subdivided the larger master so our son could have his ownroom while the girls shared the other.
We were about to sell the old house when we had an idea: what if we offered it to my in-laws rent-free so they could be close to their grandchildren in their later years? They sold their home in North Carolina and moved into our once “forever” home.
After they passed, we rented the house to a wonderful family. When their son went off to college, they worried about affording the rent for a place that now felt too large. So we offered to let them rent out the back of the house, something we had once done ourselves while my in-laws lived there. They’ve cared for the home with so much heart, and this has allowed them to stay in a place they loved as much as we did.
Expanding the Circle
A scarcity mindset focuses on guarding what you have. An abundance mindset imagines what’s possible when you create more to share. Fifty percent of nothing is still nothing. But 20 percent of a lot? That’s still a win.
Once, someone told me they didn’t like to share good tutors or resources with other parents because they were worried it might hurt their own child’s chances. I found that so strange. There are so many paths to success. Helping others doesn’t take away from your own journey. In fact, it can enhance it.
My friend Ha is the embodiment of abundance. Every conversation with her feels like she’s writing a new chapter in your story in real-time. She sees each person as braver, stronger, and bolder than they are today. She has an incredible knack for seeing your potential before you do, which is why she’s such an exceptional fractional COO.
We met over two decades ago (she was at eBay, I was at PayPal) and I’ve watched her pour energy into startups and founders like they were her own. Everyone needs a little bit of Ha’s abundance in their life.
Thinking Outside the Box
The scarcity mindset is about protecting what you have. An abundance mindset is about creating more to share. Fifty percent of nothing is still nothing. But 20 percent of success is much greater.
Recently, a Duke student reached out to get advice on finding a summer internship. I didn’t go into the conversation expecting much, but I was so impressed by him that the next day I introduced him to a couple of founders in a nearby town. They were excited to work with him.
A few weeks ago, a mentee called about a tough situation at work. I offered to send her resume to folks in my network. Both reached out within a week with new opportunities that could be a better fit.
None of this took much time or effort, but it required seeing each conversation as an opportunity to be of service to others. That’s what Katia taught me. It’s one of the reasons I helped start Women in Product. Community has a compounding effect. If everyone just looked for ways to lift each other up, we could navigate tough situations together. That’s abundance thinking in action.
Seeing Possibility in Others
The real magic of abundance thinking is that it invites you to see opportunities for yourself and possibilities in others. Our tenants found a way to stay in a home they loved. My in-laws who lived their last years surrounded by family. A student who didn’t know where to start. A founder who could use some help. None of these things were part of a plan, but they were opportunities that arose from asking what might be possible.
My friend Ami Vora once wrote about how bad I am at saying no, and she’s absolutely right. But I can also see where saying yes can lead.
A Final Thought
The abundance mindset isn’t just about giving. It’s about seeing the people around you: their needs, their strengths, and the possibilities that emerge from who they are and who they can become. Katia did that for me once upon a time, and I aim to pay it forward.
Such a great read, Deb. I’ve come to believe that an abundance mindset isn’t just about seeing opportunities it’s also about feeling connected to something bigger than yourself.
My first lesson of course didn't come from a book or my mentor, but my mom.
She wasn’t a teacher, but she had this habit of teaching kids from underprivileged families. No biggie for her, just sitting with them on the floor, helping them read, count, add and write. I could never understand her purpose then, but I believed because "She could, and they mattered". The lesson did stick with me. Also, there's so science behind it, acts of giving releases dopamine and serotonin but beyond the hormones, it gives us sanity in the chaos. A sense pf grounding. A reminder that life isn't just chasing more for oneself but sharing what you have. Just like you let your tenant stay in the backyard, to make them feel home. You made them feel "Secure" and you did "Human".
My mom also says - Abundance shouldn't be loud. Sometimes, it’s just making someone else feel like they belong, they matter. And I feel in doing so, I remember, I do me too.
With care, grace and light
S
I love this! I can feel the calmness that giving brings to someone through your words too. Just what I needed when I was feeling a bit overwhelmed in all that I've been offering of myself lately.