This really struck me, Deb. The way you trace a single restaurant shift into generations of resilience — that’s the kind of history too often dismissed or erased. From the outside it might look like ‘just restaurant work,’ but what you’ve shown is actually a story of survival, sacrifice, and solidarity.
And what moved me most was the way community itself became the safety net: families helping each other rise, refusing to let anyone fall behind. It’s resilience, yes, but also quiet rebellion. Sitting down in a place like this means you’re tasting more than food — you’re sharing in belonging, in defiance, in a legacy no system could erase.
My family lived in Bristol, Virginia for three years, when I was in 1st through 3rd grades. We owned a Chinese restaurant, which my parents started, to supplement my dad's research scientist job with additional income to support my 3 brothers and me. I remember doing my homework on bags of rice in the back room. And when we closed up shop every night, my job was to vacuum the carpet. If we did a good job, my parents would allow us just one white rabbit candy each. That total grind -- working full time jobs for both my parents, and then running the restaurant from 5:30pm to 11pm every night -- is something I don't think my kids will ever know. My brothers and I are products of the American Dream. And also a lot of heart, soul and grit. Thank you for sharing this. What a powerful story of community.
The photos you shared brought back memories for me too. My mom & the kids moved from Taiwan to Virginia, where there were few Asians back in the 80s. I worked in the Chinese restaurant as well as a take-out.
I remember there were 'dormitories' - for new workers who just immigrated. There was definitely an ecosystem that help new Chinese immigrants establish themselves, and the owners/workers all know each other.
There was one aspect, though, I didn't like - the restaurant community was where I first witnessed workers getting into debt, gambling, or affairs. It was really shocking to me. It became a great motivation for me to 'get out of this town'.
Nonetheless, I very much appreciated the experience - it taught me resilience. And I had so much appreciation for people who work so hard for minimum wages.
I met so many hardworking people in the restaurant community, but I also saw the other side like you did. Many of the kids of these families went on to college or to run their own restaurants some day. A true journey of resilience.
I moved to Brussels when I was 19 and started woking in a bar of a Chinese restaurant during the weekend to support my living as my parents could not.
The weekend job taught me everything I needed to survive in the foreign country as immigrant: Grit, Resilience, human relationships, local culture, negotiation, trust and friendship.
The crew in the restaurant felt like family to me as I didn’t have any Asian friends in school (I was the only Chinese in my class).
2 of my younger best friends worked there as I “graduated”to another place. These communities are so important in those area where you don’t find Asian immigrants so easily (unlike the valley).
I stumbled across a TikTok a while ago of someone explaining why a lot of Chinese buffet owners were from a particular region in China; he also talked about how they helped uplifted each other and helped establish new businesses. I hope our communities never forget this legacy. Thank you for sharing your story 🤍
Love the photo your sister found. You all look so exasperated!
This was an informative story. It reminded me of a former coworker. He was from Thailand and had a large extended family + Thai community in the area we lived. They had a similar mentality. I remember him telling me about how they would pool money together when one of them was in need. That way the individual needing help didnt have to worry about interest and could pay back the loan as they were able to. Kind of like crowdfunding, but more intimate. I was struck by that.
Thank you for sharing this story of community supporting one another! I also love that you highlighted how impactful it was for you to learn hard work at an early age. (I also worked in food service and retail from age 14, and my son started at Peet's Coffee the day he turned 16.) When I've hired people into earlier career positions, I look for experiences in food service or retail, as it is often a great indicator of someone who knows how to work hard and collaborate with others.
Great story! My best friend had a similar experience. Chinatown in Philadelphia [and elsewhere] feels connected to the past in ways that very few other modern locales can match. My favorite noodle spot still has several younger family members working the front with the older members in the back.
"when he saw a college application where a student listed restaurant work at a Chinese place, he dismissed it."
People don't know what they don't know. I started working [as a caddie] when I was 13. Up before 5am every weekend to sit at the course waiting to get work. Had 5 jobs at one point in high school. Worked straight through most of undergrad. Even back then, most of my friends had no idea I would walk to work after school and get home at 10pm.
There is little to replace lived experience, but if we share our experiences with others, maybe they can get a sense of what life was like. I write about this because I don't want these places to be lost in history since they are still very much with us, just with a different generation of immigrants and their children.
I love "hole-in-the-wall" Chinese restaurants! That is where you get the best food for a great value and meet some really interesting people.
Such a great informative write-up. This goes to explain a lot of why you have been a lot more successful than I have. :)
I was paid under the table in cash below minimum wage at my first job (a Subway), and yet was fired, which goes to show how bad of a worker I actually was. At the time, I didn't respect the work because it felt to me like the type of work that my parents didn't respect, so I didn't see it as something I should work hard at. I've now come around to feeling like I should work hard at everything, even if some jobs seem less meaningful than others.
The Chinese Exclusion Act really hit Washington State pretty hard. When I pass through towns like Sultan and Gold Bar, I'm reminded of Chinese immigrants being kicked out shortly after having built the very railroads that made those towns prosper.
I've always wanted to do a coffee table book of photos of really shabby Chinese restaurants coupled with a history of Chinese Americans in the U.S. I suspect the restaurants would be a good anchor for the story, especially when you hear about Chinese Americans growing up in states where there really weren't many at all. It's neat to learn from you that Chinese immigrants were allowed into the US to run restaurants, thereby explaining their ubiquity (the restaurants').
Such a huge loss when the Chinese Exclusion Act came. At one point, Idaho was one 1/3 Chinese American, which sparked a big backlash for sure.
We used to joke that every town in America had at least one Chinese restaurant, and we visited many of them as we traveled and drove through especially the South.
Can't wait for your coffee table book! The restaurant I worked at is still there (at least on Google), and in the photos, I think I spot the children of the new owners.
This really struck me, Deb. The way you trace a single restaurant shift into generations of resilience — that’s the kind of history too often dismissed or erased. From the outside it might look like ‘just restaurant work,’ but what you’ve shown is actually a story of survival, sacrifice, and solidarity.
And what moved me most was the way community itself became the safety net: families helping each other rise, refusing to let anyone fall behind. It’s resilience, yes, but also quiet rebellion. Sitting down in a place like this means you’re tasting more than food — you’re sharing in belonging, in defiance, in a legacy no system could erase.
My family lived in Bristol, Virginia for three years, when I was in 1st through 3rd grades. We owned a Chinese restaurant, which my parents started, to supplement my dad's research scientist job with additional income to support my 3 brothers and me. I remember doing my homework on bags of rice in the back room. And when we closed up shop every night, my job was to vacuum the carpet. If we did a good job, my parents would allow us just one white rabbit candy each. That total grind -- working full time jobs for both my parents, and then running the restaurant from 5:30pm to 11pm every night -- is something I don't think my kids will ever know. My brothers and I are products of the American Dream. And also a lot of heart, soul and grit. Thank you for sharing this. What a powerful story of community.
Thank you for sharing your family's story. It is an encapsulation of the American Dream that started in restaurants and changed communities.
The photos you shared brought back memories for me too. My mom & the kids moved from Taiwan to Virginia, where there were few Asians back in the 80s. I worked in the Chinese restaurant as well as a take-out.
I remember there were 'dormitories' - for new workers who just immigrated. There was definitely an ecosystem that help new Chinese immigrants establish themselves, and the owners/workers all know each other.
There was one aspect, though, I didn't like - the restaurant community was where I first witnessed workers getting into debt, gambling, or affairs. It was really shocking to me. It became a great motivation for me to 'get out of this town'.
Nonetheless, I very much appreciated the experience - it taught me resilience. And I had so much appreciation for people who work so hard for minimum wages.
I met so many hardworking people in the restaurant community, but I also saw the other side like you did. Many of the kids of these families went on to college or to run their own restaurants some day. A true journey of resilience.
I moved to Brussels when I was 19 and started woking in a bar of a Chinese restaurant during the weekend to support my living as my parents could not.
The weekend job taught me everything I needed to survive in the foreign country as immigrant: Grit, Resilience, human relationships, local culture, negotiation, trust and friendship.
The crew in the restaurant felt like family to me as I didn’t have any Asian friends in school (I was the only Chinese in my class).
2 of my younger best friends worked there as I “graduated”to another place. These communities are so important in those area where you don’t find Asian immigrants so easily (unlike the valley).
What a formative experience. Thanks for sharing it!
I stumbled across a TikTok a while ago of someone explaining why a lot of Chinese buffet owners were from a particular region in China; he also talked about how they helped uplifted each other and helped establish new businesses. I hope our communities never forget this legacy. Thank you for sharing your story 🤍
Love that! Will definitely look it up.
Made me smile and happy!!
My dad was an electrician. I was a preteen for free.
Love the photo your sister found. You all look so exasperated!
This was an informative story. It reminded me of a former coworker. He was from Thailand and had a large extended family + Thai community in the area we lived. They had a similar mentality. I remember him telling me about how they would pool money together when one of them was in need. That way the individual needing help didnt have to worry about interest and could pay back the loan as they were able to. Kind of like crowdfunding, but more intimate. I was struck by that.
I love that about community. Crowdfunding before it became popular.
Thank you for sharing this story of community supporting one another! I also love that you highlighted how impactful it was for you to learn hard work at an early age. (I also worked in food service and retail from age 14, and my son started at Peet's Coffee the day he turned 16.) When I've hired people into earlier career positions, I look for experiences in food service or retail, as it is often a great indicator of someone who knows how to work hard and collaborate with others.
Service jobs teach us that no one is above anyone else. We are all making our way in the world.
Great story! My best friend had a similar experience. Chinatown in Philadelphia [and elsewhere] feels connected to the past in ways that very few other modern locales can match. My favorite noodle spot still has several younger family members working the front with the older members in the back.
"when he saw a college application where a student listed restaurant work at a Chinese place, he dismissed it."
People don't know what they don't know. I started working [as a caddie] when I was 13. Up before 5am every weekend to sit at the course waiting to get work. Had 5 jobs at one point in high school. Worked straight through most of undergrad. Even back then, most of my friends had no idea I would walk to work after school and get home at 10pm.
Now all just memories.
There is little to replace lived experience, but if we share our experiences with others, maybe they can get a sense of what life was like. I write about this because I don't want these places to be lost in history since they are still very much with us, just with a different generation of immigrants and their children.
I love "hole-in-the-wall" Chinese restaurants! That is where you get the best food for a great value and meet some really interesting people.
Such a great informative write-up. This goes to explain a lot of why you have been a lot more successful than I have. :)
I was paid under the table in cash below minimum wage at my first job (a Subway), and yet was fired, which goes to show how bad of a worker I actually was. At the time, I didn't respect the work because it felt to me like the type of work that my parents didn't respect, so I didn't see it as something I should work hard at. I've now come around to feeling like I should work hard at everything, even if some jobs seem less meaningful than others.
The Chinese Exclusion Act really hit Washington State pretty hard. When I pass through towns like Sultan and Gold Bar, I'm reminded of Chinese immigrants being kicked out shortly after having built the very railroads that made those towns prosper.
I've always wanted to do a coffee table book of photos of really shabby Chinese restaurants coupled with a history of Chinese Americans in the U.S. I suspect the restaurants would be a good anchor for the story, especially when you hear about Chinese Americans growing up in states where there really weren't many at all. It's neat to learn from you that Chinese immigrants were allowed into the US to run restaurants, thereby explaining their ubiquity (the restaurants').
Such a huge loss when the Chinese Exclusion Act came. At one point, Idaho was one 1/3 Chinese American, which sparked a big backlash for sure.
We used to joke that every town in America had at least one Chinese restaurant, and we visited many of them as we traveled and drove through especially the South.
Can't wait for your coffee table book! The restaurant I worked at is still there (at least on Google), and in the photos, I think I spot the children of the new owners.