Choose Your Own Adventure

How to Have a Career Conversation

I used to hate having career conversations with my manager. I felt they were fraught, confusing, and best avoided. I used to do what most people do — wait for my manager to approach me. I figured they would have a magical plan on how to grow, but as I waited I was inevitably disappointed.

Your career should not be left to chance or your manager happening to make time. Armed with a few tools, you can have a great discussion about where you want to go and what you want to learn with your manager's support.

Career Conversations in Summary

Career conversations are not about a promotion. One of the reasons that managers avoid these meetings is because they aren’t ready to signal you should be promoted. But that's a misunderstanding about the goal of these discussions. While there is an aspect of direct advancement, career talks are about your career, not the next step.

When you have a career conversation, focus on the long arc of what you want to achieve and then how the next 6 to 12 months fit into that goal. You may be in this specific role with this specific manager for a year or two, but the skills and growth are things you take with you for the rest of your career.

The goal of a career conversation is threefold:

1. Aspirations: Build a mutual understanding of what you and your manager value and what your long-term aspirations are

2. Skill-building: Understand what skills you need to do your current job and what skills you need to obtain to get to where you want to be

3. Alignment: Clearly communicate and align on mutual expectations and next steps

One caveat: These conversations are often challenging even in ideal circumstances, so they are most effective between two people who respect and trust one another. While it is possible to have a fruitful career conversation with someone you don't know well or you might have a tense relationship, trust is an important element of the exercise. If you have not yet built that trust, it may be worthwhile to set the foundation first before embarking on this together.

How to Maximize Effectiveness

• Ask — Speak to your manager about wanting to discuss your future. Note to them that this is not a pitch for promotion but about skill-building and growth.

• Prepare — Think about what you want ahead of time (see exercise at the end) and know what you value. I have had many career conversations with people on my team who didn't know what they wanted. I explained, “If you don't know where you want to go, I can't help get you there.” If you are not sure of your long-term plans, at least know what you value. That is a good starting point.