I've also heard this as reducing "tolerations," the little things we deal with but don't recognize having a huge pile of them is a big problem.
A few small things I've done that are big helps:
1) subscribe & save for key products on Amazon. A small oversupply isn't a big deal, but only realizing you're out of TP when *you're out* is a huge bummer.
2) calendar reminders far in advance for regular, recurring things — e.g., in October, "reach out to family photographer for holiday cards"
3) gameifying it. For some regular tasks I have them set up w/ reminders on my calendar, and I give myself a high five if I get it done *before* the reminder goes off — even something as small as "give this pill to a pet"
4) FSA debit cards. I keep mine in a wallet on my phone so that anywhere I go I can use it directly vs. needing to claim later, I have it on Amazon, and I have it as my saved card for most medical providers. It's a huge time-saver later.
As a later in life mom, systems are what helped me get a handle on life as a new mom. A few things I like:
-I order all my groceries from Whole Foods, and have them delivered on Sunday. They feature that automatically adds frequently purchased items that you choose to your cart weekly. Review, edit, order!
-set aside the last 2 hours of Friday for work cleanup, reflection, upcoming week planning
Personal emails are one huge area where rules and filters can help a lot with. Sometimes subscribing to too many newsletters and being overwhelmed often leads me to procrastinate on reading them. Glad I read this one!
Hi Deb, I love your newsletter and particularly enjoyed this week's thoughts and experiences on systems. Thank you for taking the time and effort to write them. Do you have any tips for email management systems -- both personal and work? Have a great weekend!
I found that creating different emails for different purposes can help. A few examples:
1) Adding [yourname]+[site]@gmail.com allows you to create "new addresses" without a new inbox. You can then filter those. Also you know if someone sold your address.
2) I created an email for this newsletter that I share with my sister so she can manage the admin side for me. It is easier than me having to ping her when something comes in. I subscribe to newsletters on that email, and I go in once every couple days and batch read everything when I have a bit of time.
3) I have a junk email address to divert low quality emails - out of sight out of mind.
4) I use a lot of filters to help manage incoming things.
5) Do it now. I have a rule which is I try to only check email when I can respond (or I mark it as unread). I respond immediately if it doesn't require more than a few minutes so that I don't have to read and think about it again.
Such a great piece! I stripped everything out of my life when I moved to Vienna for a year. Now I’m slowly adding things back, and trying to be thoughtful about commitments. This is a great reminder to choose wisely and carefully.
I like the idea of lowering the friction in making something happen. I did almost something very similar with clothes I was no longer wearing too. Anything I hadn't worn in the past year disappeared. This left a lot more room for the clothes I enjoyed wearing.
It's certainly easier to have a fixed rule and sick with it.
Important post Deb! One of the under-represented topics in product work IMO is the difference between having operational systems vs. processes.
Many folks decry “process overhead” and justifiably so in many cases. I’ve found that these complaints are often rooted in either not having or not understanding the system that the process is a part of. Thus the cost of the specific process is obvious, but the value of the overarching system is not. The HPM example you cited is one such case of that dynamic.
The problem I've always had with systems is consistently following the steps. I know I have to do A, B, and C every Friday, but then, even when the friction is low, I find excuses not to go through the steps.
What I've found that works for me is not to think or internally debate the job. If it's in the calendar, it has to get done. That's my mantra, and it seems to work 70% of the time.
Excellent writing and good job with the excessive amount of clothing. We did that earlier this year 😃 I read somewhere recently that we can be reduced to the sum of our systems. This is an oversimplification, but there is some truth in it.
Systems are plenty – the self-help industry was worth around 10 billion in 2021, so it's not the systems that make things work but us spending energy to put them to work.
A small but mighty one: I have our babysitter *bill me* via Venmo (rather than me calculating hours and paying her). I've decided she's incredibly trustworthy and the likelihood of her misrepresenting her hours is so low, it's easier for me to just wait for the Venmo request, hit pay, and I'm done.
Thanks for sharing! I would love to hear more about your systems for managing your household/childcare (when your kids were young) and sharing of duties. Also, your newsletter writing system!
For me, the best system we’ve created lately is getting a huge master calendar for the household to manage everybody’s schedules. Everyone can write on it and we can see what everyone is doing. However, I still have my own calendar, so there does seem to be some redundancy…
We don’t have a lot of storage, so we can’t over buy much (like a lifetime supply of tissues - I feel your pain on that). It’s hard to purge when it feels like I’m throwing away $ but keeping it won’t get the $ back!
I always felt like purging was wasting money, but when I give away things in my Buy Nothing Group, it feels like sharing it with someone else who needs it more.
Thanks! yes I agree childcare and household management is crazy and I only have two kids! I just re-read your post - so many great points. I'm glad you were able to bring your nanny back for a short shift. I am also curious how people are outsourcing pure logistics and to-do lists... personal assistants? nannies who stay on as household manager / chefs? It seems so hard to take care of everything and requires a lot of brain space outside of work. I agree with you - the motherhood penalty is real on all fronts, and Christian moms have it especially hard (social pressure to be "Good Moms")
I've also heard this as reducing "tolerations," the little things we deal with but don't recognize having a huge pile of them is a big problem.
A few small things I've done that are big helps:
1) subscribe & save for key products on Amazon. A small oversupply isn't a big deal, but only realizing you're out of TP when *you're out* is a huge bummer.
2) calendar reminders far in advance for regular, recurring things — e.g., in October, "reach out to family photographer for holiday cards"
3) gameifying it. For some regular tasks I have them set up w/ reminders on my calendar, and I give myself a high five if I get it done *before* the reminder goes off — even something as small as "give this pill to a pet"
4) FSA debit cards. I keep mine in a wallet on my phone so that anywhere I go I can use it directly vs. needing to claim later, I have it on Amazon, and I have it as my saved card for most medical providers. It's a huge time-saver later.
These are great tips.
I need more gamifying in my life.
As a later in life mom, systems are what helped me get a handle on life as a new mom. A few things I like:
-I order all my groceries from Whole Foods, and have them delivered on Sunday. They feature that automatically adds frequently purchased items that you choose to your cart weekly. Review, edit, order!
-set aside the last 2 hours of Friday for work cleanup, reflection, upcoming week planning
-I make household tasks fun; fresh sheet Friday!
HPMs....what a blast from the past!
I hear you on the HPMs :-) I built systems for most leadership, team updates at work.
I also have a system for tracking cross org dependencies and timelines, especially for those gnarly complex projects.
Personally- I built systems for fitness and wellness so I don’t give myself an excuse to not prioritize self care.
Systems simplify everything. I am still systematizing a few things that remain out of reach, but this year, I am determined!
Personal emails are one huge area where rules and filters can help a lot with. Sometimes subscribing to too many newsletters and being overwhelmed often leads me to procrastinate on reading them. Glad I read this one!
That is a good one. I need to tackle this.
Hi Deb, I love your newsletter and particularly enjoyed this week's thoughts and experiences on systems. Thank you for taking the time and effort to write them. Do you have any tips for email management systems -- both personal and work? Have a great weekend!
I found that creating different emails for different purposes can help. A few examples:
1) Adding [yourname]+[site]@gmail.com allows you to create "new addresses" without a new inbox. You can then filter those. Also you know if someone sold your address.
2) I created an email for this newsletter that I share with my sister so she can manage the admin side for me. It is easier than me having to ping her when something comes in. I subscribe to newsletters on that email, and I go in once every couple days and batch read everything when I have a bit of time.
3) I have a junk email address to divert low quality emails - out of sight out of mind.
4) I use a lot of filters to help manage incoming things.
5) Do it now. I have a rule which is I try to only check email when I can respond (or I mark it as unread). I respond immediately if it doesn't require more than a few minutes so that I don't have to read and think about it again.
Hope those are helpful!
Thank you for the tips!! It’s very helpful.
Such a great piece! I stripped everything out of my life when I moved to Vienna for a year. Now I’m slowly adding things back, and trying to be thoughtful about commitments. This is a great reminder to choose wisely and carefully.
Restarting from scratch is a great way to pare down things in your life.
I like the idea of lowering the friction in making something happen. I did almost something very similar with clothes I was no longer wearing too. Anything I hadn't worn in the past year disappeared. This left a lot more room for the clothes I enjoyed wearing.
It's certainly easier to have a fixed rule and sick with it.
Important post Deb! One of the under-represented topics in product work IMO is the difference between having operational systems vs. processes.
Many folks decry “process overhead” and justifiably so in many cases. I’ve found that these complaints are often rooted in either not having or not understanding the system that the process is a part of. Thus the cost of the specific process is obvious, but the value of the overarching system is not. The HPM example you cited is one such case of that dynamic.
This is such great advice it hurts my head. Thanks.
The problem I've always had with systems is consistently following the steps. I know I have to do A, B, and C every Friday, but then, even when the friction is low, I find excuses not to go through the steps.
What I've found that works for me is not to think or internally debate the job. If it's in the calendar, it has to get done. That's my mantra, and it seems to work 70% of the time.
Excellent writing and good job with the excessive amount of clothing. We did that earlier this year 😃 I read somewhere recently that we can be reduced to the sum of our systems. This is an oversimplification, but there is some truth in it.
Systems are plenty – the self-help industry was worth around 10 billion in 2021, so it's not the systems that make things work but us spending energy to put them to work.
A small but mighty one: I have our babysitter *bill me* via Venmo (rather than me calculating hours and paying her). I've decided she's incredibly trustworthy and the likelihood of her misrepresenting her hours is so low, it's easier for me to just wait for the Venmo request, hit pay, and I'm done.
I love that idea. Having someone else who has aligned incentives do part of the work helps a ton.
Thank you for sharing! I love the point about being intentional in our personal lives just as we are with our professional selves!
Thanks for sharing! I would love to hear more about your systems for managing your household/childcare (when your kids were young) and sharing of duties. Also, your newsletter writing system!
For me, the best system we’ve created lately is getting a huge master calendar for the household to manage everybody’s schedules. Everyone can write on it and we can see what everyone is doing. However, I still have my own calendar, so there does seem to be some redundancy…
We don’t have a lot of storage, so we can’t over buy much (like a lifetime supply of tissues - I feel your pain on that). It’s hard to purge when it feels like I’m throwing away $ but keeping it won’t get the $ back!
I always felt like purging was wasting money, but when I give away things in my Buy Nothing Group, it feels like sharing it with someone else who needs it more.
We use a family calendar. It is a lifesaver.
Childcare was crazy when the kids were younger. It was super chaotic. I write more about that here. https://debliu.substack.com/p/what-they-dont-tell-you-about-having
Thanks! yes I agree childcare and household management is crazy and I only have two kids! I just re-read your post - so many great points. I'm glad you were able to bring your nanny back for a short shift. I am also curious how people are outsourcing pure logistics and to-do lists... personal assistants? nannies who stay on as household manager / chefs? It seems so hard to take care of everything and requires a lot of brain space outside of work. I agree with you - the motherhood penalty is real on all fronts, and Christian moms have it especially hard (social pressure to be "Good Moms")
Such practical tips. Thanks, Deb.