This article really hit home for our family! Both my wife and I are hoarders for different reasons, and our daughter seems to be following suit (though with less organization). Your personal storytelling approach makes these lessons so much more relatable than typical decluttering advice.
I'm planning to share this with my family, but it also gave me another idea. I've been looking for meaningful content to use for reading sessions with my daughter - articles that combine reading practice with real life lessons. Your writing is perfect for this! Your stories are accessible, personal, and teach valuable insights we can actually apply.
I have read your book "Take Back Your Power" and love your approach to sharing wisdom through personal experiences. This might sound silly, but have you ever considered writing a book specifically for teenagers or young adults? Your storytelling approach would be incredibly valuable for them as they navigate life.
I can relate to this so much. The memory of growing up with parents who kept everything (we had cabinets overflowing with mini shampoo and conditioner from every hotel ever visited) built a scarcity mindset. Ironically I tried so hard to let go of it that my tendency to throw out most things freaks out my family. Thanks for these tips!
Deb, I read your post and genuinely felt like I was reading my version of me. I’ve done every single thing you mentioned yet taking that first leap still feels incredibly hard.
For me, everything holds a memory. It’s rarely about whether I’ll need it tomorrow or someday. It’s the emotional imprint; I used this, or my husband gave it to me, or this was from my dad. That history makes it feel worth keeping even though, deep down, I know our time and space are finite. And none of this goes with me.
I also have a tendency to miss things when they’re broken… or once I give them away. I can buy new containers to donate, but when it comes to parting with the ones we’ve used, my heart and mind wrestle. My husband always chooses to donate, no matter what so it's only me thinking and not actioning. And to top it all off, I’m a full-blown hoarder with backups for nearly all my favorite things.
This weekend, I’m going to try. Try. Will start with my closet, let’s see how much I can Goodwill - do you have any tips on how you took that first leap or the thoughts you had?
(Please know, I Konmari-ed, did apartment therapy, did act of living simple and minimal and none of them helped :))
I am married/and preparing to divorce a man who feels that he should keep everything! He even dictates what things of mine should be kept for future needs. With the new political administration, he decided everything was going to increase in cost. He went on an extreme buying spree. I have 6 large bags of Starbucks coffee beans. Cases of soup. Cases of Glucerna, 6 large containers of Collagen. I only list the things he won't use. Since I am moving out before I will ever use all of this, I wonder what his plan is. I am making a minimalistic move. Two carry-ons to fly out of my hell-hole. And I am shipping signed books, a shower chair, winter clothes, and my journals, Tarot cards, and crystals. Everything else that I have had for 40 years is gone. I am taking things to resale shops with the help of a friend. I am starting over as best as I can. The years of living with a hoarder can cause a mental drain. I have also secretly thrown out things I know he would never miss. I have played his game for almost 20 years. I am so excited to move forward with a new beginning. I took pictures of anything that gave me pause.
I wish anyone who tries to make a fresh start by ridding themselves of things of little consequence the best of luck. All I can say is, "Just Do It!" It is like a breath of fresh air on a sunny day.
It's insightful to consider how our mindsets shape our actions. I've noticed this in my own life: I tend to discard items. My reasoning is that managing stuff feels overwhelming. This habit stems from a need to declutter the family chaos I experienced growing up, and letting go of things helps me maintain a sense of peace.
What should I do when my family don’t stick to the same rules? Lol sometimes I imagine how uncluttered my space would be without them 😅 disclaimer I do love my family haha🤣
I struggled with this, but once everything had a home, I taught them to look for things in that place and then return them back to that place. It is not perfect, but it has gotten a lot better since I decluttered and organized for sure.
Don’t tell my kids but sometimes I secretly throwing away their toys when they’re not looking 🥲
I used to tell them I am "rehoming" their toys to new homes when there is too much. They were surprisingly chill about it.
This article really hit home for our family! Both my wife and I are hoarders for different reasons, and our daughter seems to be following suit (though with less organization). Your personal storytelling approach makes these lessons so much more relatable than typical decluttering advice.
I'm planning to share this with my family, but it also gave me another idea. I've been looking for meaningful content to use for reading sessions with my daughter - articles that combine reading practice with real life lessons. Your writing is perfect for this! Your stories are accessible, personal, and teach valuable insights we can actually apply.
I have read your book "Take Back Your Power" and love your approach to sharing wisdom through personal experiences. This might sound silly, but have you ever considered writing a book specifically for teenagers or young adults? Your storytelling approach would be incredibly valuable for them as they navigate life.
I love that you read with your daughter. I write a column with my older daughter, and it has brought us closer together.
I can relate to this so much. The memory of growing up with parents who kept everything (we had cabinets overflowing with mini shampoo and conditioner from every hotel ever visited) built a scarcity mindset. Ironically I tried so hard to let go of it that my tendency to throw out most things freaks out my family. Thanks for these tips!
Deb, I read your post and genuinely felt like I was reading my version of me. I’ve done every single thing you mentioned yet taking that first leap still feels incredibly hard.
For me, everything holds a memory. It’s rarely about whether I’ll need it tomorrow or someday. It’s the emotional imprint; I used this, or my husband gave it to me, or this was from my dad. That history makes it feel worth keeping even though, deep down, I know our time and space are finite. And none of this goes with me.
I also have a tendency to miss things when they’re broken… or once I give them away. I can buy new containers to donate, but when it comes to parting with the ones we’ve used, my heart and mind wrestle. My husband always chooses to donate, no matter what so it's only me thinking and not actioning. And to top it all off, I’m a full-blown hoarder with backups for nearly all my favorite things.
This weekend, I’m going to try. Try. Will start with my closet, let’s see how much I can Goodwill - do you have any tips on how you took that first leap or the thoughts you had?
(Please know, I Konmari-ed, did apartment therapy, did act of living simple and minimal and none of them helped :))
With Care, Grace and Light -
S
I am married/and preparing to divorce a man who feels that he should keep everything! He even dictates what things of mine should be kept for future needs. With the new political administration, he decided everything was going to increase in cost. He went on an extreme buying spree. I have 6 large bags of Starbucks coffee beans. Cases of soup. Cases of Glucerna, 6 large containers of Collagen. I only list the things he won't use. Since I am moving out before I will ever use all of this, I wonder what his plan is. I am making a minimalistic move. Two carry-ons to fly out of my hell-hole. And I am shipping signed books, a shower chair, winter clothes, and my journals, Tarot cards, and crystals. Everything else that I have had for 40 years is gone. I am taking things to resale shops with the help of a friend. I am starting over as best as I can. The years of living with a hoarder can cause a mental drain. I have also secretly thrown out things I know he would never miss. I have played his game for almost 20 years. I am so excited to move forward with a new beginning. I took pictures of anything that gave me pause.
I wish anyone who tries to make a fresh start by ridding themselves of things of little consequence the best of luck. All I can say is, "Just Do It!" It is like a breath of fresh air on a sunny day.
There are days I just want to let go of everything and starting over with a blank slate.
All the best on your next chapter!
It's insightful to consider how our mindsets shape our actions. I've noticed this in my own life: I tend to discard items. My reasoning is that managing stuff feels overwhelming. This habit stems from a need to declutter the family chaos I experienced growing up, and letting go of things helps me maintain a sense of peace.
What should I do when my family don’t stick to the same rules? Lol sometimes I imagine how uncluttered my space would be without them 😅 disclaimer I do love my family haha🤣
I struggled with this, but once everything had a home, I taught them to look for things in that place and then return them back to that place. It is not perfect, but it has gotten a lot better since I decluttered and organized for sure.