9 Comments

Thank you for writing this! Even after being at my current organization for a few years, I still have those moments where I feel lost in a conversation with a teammate or manager. I will be practicing these tips.

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Thank you Deb Lui. It's something I've struggled with in big group meetings with execs. This perfectly articulates the layers of context you have to interpret in the moment in order to effectively contribute:

1. What words were being said

2. What each person actually meant

3. What it meant in the context of their relationship and history

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Again Deb you have brought out the best ideas. I will need to re-read to practice!

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can't agree more on how the ability to read the room can be such a critical factor to increasing one's influence, getting alignment, and even building trust. and i love that reading the room is pretty much having genuine curiosity about the people you're talking to and caring where they're coming from.

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Apr 11, 2023·edited Apr 11, 2023

I literally just spoke about this today while being interviewed for a podcast. I learned these skills being a nightclub DJ. Being a DJ is all about reading the room. It is in the palm of your hands. Your song selection can build the floor or scatter people to the sidelines in one decision.

And, I was literally just back in Michigan this last weekend (my birthplace) and the word "pop" is everywhere. It came back like a vengeance when ordering, like an accent I had long lost somewhere along the way.

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Great article. Reading the room is one of the ten vital rules of sales: https://yuribezmenov.substack.com/p/how-to-close-the-deal

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I especially love that your 4 methods can be applied whether the meeting is in-person, virtual, or hybrid. In my interpretation, your methods are the practical manifestations of Empathy (methods 1 & 2), Self-Awareness (method 3), and Active Listening (methods 2 & 4) skills.

Thank you, as always, for your insights.

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Fascinating read, lots of food for thought! I completely agree that embracing our differences enhances our ability to read the room. Would be also be interesting to explore how our cultural differences impact our communication styles.

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would better if there were more examples.

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