10 Comments
Feb 1·edited Feb 1Liked by Deb Liu

Thank you for sharing Deb. I think being honest about when you're feeling taken for granted is especially important, and hearing your partner out fairly when they suggest as much to you. It is so much easier to snap at your other half before thinking - I have the additional challenge in that I work alongside my fiance in our start up (I am CEO, he is CSO) and we do clash from time-to-time in a way neither of us would with anyone else on our team. We've also been together since we were very young (I was 15, he was 16) and we are both very independent people, so mindfully working on our relationship is important. We did counselling together some years ago after a rocky patch, which was very beneficial, and I'd recommend to anyone (as a 'tune-up!') as part of maintaining a healthy relationship. It held a mirror up to both of us, and even today, when I start to get frustrated at some particular behaviour, I recall the advice we were given and will try to calmly explain why I am feeling that way (and also consider if there are other external reasons for my annoyance) without throwing blame.

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Feb 1Liked by Deb Liu

Hi Deb,

It's inspiring to see how you and David have embraced a dynamic approach focused on mutual understanding and support. The emphasis on conscious renegotiation, avoiding bean counting, and maintaining a no-complaints rule resonated with me. I'm curious to know more about specific challenges you faced while implementing these principles and how you overcame them. Your insights have certainly sparked some thoughtful reflections on my own relationship dynamics.

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Feb 5Liked by Deb Liu

It’s so inspiring. Sometime ago I suddenly noticed my husband fills gas for my car too. I was so surprised. I also complained his cooking. I guess I should stop that. 😀

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Good read as always. People tend to pay attention to what they have done to others, but it's not good. Instead, we should pay attention to what we've received. Good advice.

Memo to myself: https://glasp.co/kei/p/f3d03d2a38f9da3e9a66

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I’ve never gone to a marriage seminar with my husband but reading this has encouraged me to do so. I’ve been reading more and more substacks and articles related to relationships so it’s kind of interesting to weigh the differences between both types of approaches.

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Complaining rarely solves anything, at least not on the long term. Congrats on the two decades, we’ll be into our first decade next year. 60/60 seems like a great strategy and I’ll make sure I forward this to my wife. 😄

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If the best idea for earning revenue is to paywall-gate previously included features from people who have already spent money with you (e.g. Shared Matches in DNA accounts), it's time to start digging deeper into your team's commitment to innovation, and that customer relationship.

Instead of disappointing and frustrating your customers, delight them.

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BTW, you might want to read the Reddit thread on this news to get a better sense of how people are taking it.

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Beautifully written and great advice.

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Truly insightful article

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