14 Comments

This immediately resonates, but one question I always wonder is: would we be as successful if we were not always striving? It’s interesting that Deb comments she regrets spending so much of her life striving, but she has worked up to CEO of a public company. If instead her career dreams were unfulfilled, would she still then wish she had strived less? I feel like it would be the opposite, the striving creates the results. This is a question I ask myself. Maybe it’s a false choice. What do you all think?

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This is such an interesting question. What if it’s a matter of perspective? That there’s not really a ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ answer and more about which way you’re looking at your life from — forward or backward? Your goals change as you move through life and your perspective shifts as you experience the passing of time, so it stands to reason that the answer to your question can change to?

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Great question Brice. I think it’s another of life’s paradoxes, that instead of trying to resolve I try to keep in some kind of creative tension. If I lean too heavily on the now I may lack a senses of direction, but if I only focus on what’s next then I lose the richness of the present (which is ultimately where our lives take place as Deb so eloquently pointed out). I’ve been thinking lately about the similar paradox of hope for the future. I think hope is inherently future focused but what does that do for our appreciation of where we are now?

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My personal take on this topic, having slipped into my 68th year here on earth this week, is my distinctly different views on [playing] baseball versus basketball. My experience playing baseball taught me that, "you've got a much more strategic advantage" in that THERE ARE 9-INNINGS to play out~ In basketball, you're playing against both the opponent AND THE "CLOCK" which contributes mightily to "when the game ends"! Both baseball and my 20s thru 50s work "for the man" were somewhat of a ho-hum daily chore. Now, having lead a company of my own "and still striving to polish all of the rough edges off of it" I'm, again... at 68... playing MOREso "AGAINST THE CLOCK" than any other factor! I wish I would have been much more aggressive and assertive from 20s - 50s as I am now~ Would have made for a much better "winding down of the clock"!

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...and I CANNOT believe that I am now 68 y/o. You, too, will experience the fact that, "it goes by WAY TOO QUICKLY"!

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I love your perspective. Happy birthday!

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I've also seen this slow down people's professional growth when they're so focused on "what's next" that they can't stop and get good at "what's now."

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Accelerated and continuous growth at the expense of important aspects of our lives is a disease.

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Excellent post- I work with a business coach who is always talking about growth- I was pretty happy before I started but constantly thinking about growth makes me dissatisfied with my current level of achievement. Great reminder of gratitude for today, since tomorrow is promised to no one. Thanks, Deb!

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This is super timely, as just a few weeks ago, I was grappling with the question, "How much is enough?". Trying to figure out when I can stop striving and proving and pushing so hard...a part of me feels like I'm now wondering this as I crossed some age threshold, but also a bit nervous to even consider NOT continuing to drive!

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This resonates so much. Thank you!

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This piece really resonated. In December, I got a promotion that I’d worked towards for 3 years. But when I got it, the feeling was a combination of satisfaction and deflation — I was thrilled to have finally achieved the thing I’d strived for but I was exhausted at the idea of having to figure out my next move. Now, a few months later, I’m learning that it’s okay to not have the next move figured out, and this piece served as a really timely reminder that I’m not alone in navigating the balance in now and next. Thanks so much!

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My personal take on this topic, having slipped into my 68th year here on earth this week, is my distinctly different views on [playing] baseball versus basketball. My experience playing baseball taught me that, "you've got a much more strategic advantage" in that THERE ARE 9-INNINGS to play out~ In basketball, you're playing against both the opponent AND THE "CLOCK" which contributes mightily to "when the game ends"! Both baseball and my 20s thru 50s work "for the man" were somewhat of a ho-hum daily chore. Now, having lead a company of my own "and still striving to polish all of the rough edges off of it" I'm, again... at 68... playing MOREso "AGAINST THE CLOCK" than any other factor! I wish I would have been much more aggressive and assertive from 20s - 50s as I am now~ Would have made for a much better "winding down of the clock"!

Expand full comment