The Power of Gratitude: Thanking the People Who Changed Your Life

Gratitude is a gift to those who gave you so much

There’s a story in the Bible in which Jesus heals ten lepers, but only one thanks him. It wasn’t necessarily that the remaining nine were not grateful, but it did not occur to them to show their gratitude. Instead, they went on with the rest of their lives, returning to their families and homes thanks to His gift of healing. Only one came back to show his appreciation for the person who had changed the course of his life. 

How many times has somebody made a huge difference in your life, whether through something they said, something they did, or something that, upon later reflection, meant a lot to you? Did you take the time to be grateful and share your appreciation?

We have this myth of a “self-made” person. We believe that leaders are selfless, lone warriors on a journey of their own making, and that success is a solitary pursuit. But there is so much in life that cannot happen without the support and encouragement of others. By acknowledging those who have helped us, we can strengthen our relationships, reflect on our successes, and pay good deeds forward. 

Write the acknowledgments section of your life  

How many times have you sat down and written a list of the people who made something possible? 

Recently I completed my book, and my editor asked for an acknowledgments section. I was unprepared for the request, and I spent many days debating every word. There is no single person who makes a difference in your life; instead, there are many people who help you at different turning points. I tried to capture this in my acknowledgments, but even still, I felt like I was leaving so many people out. 

As I was composing my acknowledgments, I started sending notes to those I acknowledged thanking them for being part of the journey that led me to write the book. Many appreciated knowing that I thought of them, though many downplayed how much they affected my life. What struck me was how a simple action on their part meant so much to me, and many of them didn’t even realize how profound it was. 

I challenge you with this exercise: writing the acknowledgments section of your own life today, rather than waiting until you finish your memoir, and reach out to the people who have made a difference.

You can start small -- a list of five people who have made a profound impact on your life. Then write the following:  

• Name and relationship to you 

• What they did or said

• How it impacted you

• What you did differently as a result  

• What you are doing to pay it forward

It could be a conversation with someone that led to something great, or someone changing your life by really investing in you. Draft a short note about what each person did and how it impacted you. What actions did you take or what did you do differently? Whatever it is, follow it up with a few sentences about what their actions or words meant to you, and what you hope to do to pay it forward. 

When you’re done, send each person an email that includes each of these points, thanking them for changing your life. 

Take time to close the loop

As I mentioned previously, I have had an open-door policy for the past 8 years, and during that time, I have met with, mentored, or coached probably a thousand people. Many of them don’t follow up, so I am not sure what happened. Perhaps my words were unremarkable, or perhaps they touched on something important. I will never know for sure.